IT WAS BEAUTIFUL

 I saw it again. 

a beautiful, wonderful smile

a smile that for a moment forgot her problems.

bad thought and pain got momentarily casted away

it was beautiful. 

for a moment, me too 

forget everything but that smile.

Had a weird dream

 last night, 

I mean just now before I wake up 

was dreaming something about a friend of mine and her colleague 

and in that  dream, I was very jealous  whenever she go near him.

that's weird...

shouldn't I be okay with them fooling around?

why did I feel that?

did I really got the feeling again..?

or it was just another dreams?

Its been a while

 never thought it will be this long. 

hello people. 

lets talk about something. how about I talk about myself after a long long time not sharing anything

health

should this be the #1 things to talk about? 

Yes. I'm okay. but not as healthy as before. 

Stress and workload do take you down 

what else..?

Finance...? 

er... I would like to lend some from you,, hahaha

workload ...

a lot of it

can't count, don't know for how long will i endure all of this

relationship..?

none. hoping for 1? maybe...

but in the mean time, doing all I can for my family

there you go

still, more to come. 

bye

Start writing again ?

 Oh hello

Why?

Why?
Man always wanted to know why.
curiosity could kill a cat they said.
can curiosity broke a man....?

Some says so they can be free ...
lift up the burden of not knowing..
People say every act always be a reason
and man are searching for that reason

it hurts when a knife stabbed into man's flesh
but it hurts more when man is left without knowing.

Men.... Man up..

I didn't surprise myself.

Being able to peek the future, I never got too surprised. Though I see it coming, I still bring the ring. Then it comes, just like what I had see coming, as what have been told in my dreams. But I couldn't  evad, I couldn't change it.

Tears coming down, its not just because you're leaving, but partly because there's nothing I can do to avoid it. Then I almost died when I walked away from you. The memories play like a movie, those conversations linger in my ears.

The ring that I bring, I had it locked away. so it can be a  reminder for those time when I should do something but I postponed it. For those time where I should be brave and strong. But it was too late to do anything. 

I may peek the future, still,  I couldn't give it to you. So farewell ring, I will throw you to the deepest sea in the darkest black.

Boring Short Story

Later that evening, my hand shakes a lot. its not hunger, it's because there's hollow in my heart. Empiness like never before. Hollow, that believing could never cure, hollow that time will never heal and hollow that makes love will never be the same again.

For now, I've lost my faith.

Help me God, for who I am. I was so brittle and still I am. I've strayed  so far that I couldn't get home. I was searching for something, to fill the hollow insides of me.

It started with my heart, it was silence and nothing, then my mind. It was so painful and dark where I couldn't feel or think anymore. A living corpse, straying on the earth for nothing.

I hope time do heal, I hope flowers will bring smiles, I hope God will make me see what should I see, my lips will say I believe though my heart couldn't say a word.

I hope ... my hope.... has fades away with the wind with the rain.

God forgive me

Random thoughts

Never thought I'll reach this point
What past have told me let it be
I just hope the best for you
and I hope I'm not a stranger in your life

To see and to know you happy 
Is always my priority since the beginning
But I have lost my path
I'm way too lost
and I didn't see the light

Maybe thats the reason for everything
So lets have a new beginning
Lets walk in our own path
Knowing you are happy will make me feel the same
Knowing not a thing will make me suffer more
But worry not about me 
For I've already lost my path
From the beginning

I'm fine
Don't worry
I'm strong, I can deal with it
You are forgiven and you have my blessing.

Go,
High up the sky,
Go,
you are free dove in the sky
Soar like an eagle strong and bold.

I, the man at the corner
I know the place like the owner
I the man you know for years
Know you better like a brother

We sails a different ocean
We sails a different path
Just as the ocean
Our friendshid never part.

Im gonna move one step at a time

Don't worry

It just time I need

Some time

so I can walk slowly

so I can move backward a little bit 

And walked out of your life

Be free

Be strong

I know you are not that weak

Get what you want 

I'll be there when you need anything. 

Just tell me

I'll lend a hand

Friendship never end 

and you are still my bestfriend :)