Could it be now?

 Hello, 
how are you?

This is another dilemma that I should face

Do I need to start the sparks?
should I ?
Could I?

Deep in my heart, 
I would glad to,

But my logic scream no. 

Help me God to pick the best for me

Peace?

 Peace? 
maybe for me.. 

but as I am writing right now,
someone else life is crumbling down

Hey there, 
be strong!

Letting go is not losing
Letting go can somehow save you 
from pain, 
pain 
and pain

yeah,  I know 

Letting go means going back to your old life, 
Yes, it may be awkward, but it is good. 
we may speak like usual again,
laugh, 
cry 
and wait for the sunrise
while sacrificing our favorite things
our sleep.

It better like that. 
Nowadays. you keep avoiding her.
She try her best to talk to you as usual, 
But she can't 
Then, she kept her sadness deep inside her
Finding happiness in others, 
but deep inside,
she hope that both of you will still be just like before 

It happened again

 It happened again,
but this time , I watched by the sideline
I see the old me, and saw her too.
I smiled. reminiscing the old day 
Its not funny, I know how does it cut both side
but hold on, time will pass.
Its your decision that matters.
Hold it longer, and the pain will linger
Set free, find another reasons and another goal.
Be strong and make peace, accept the peace.
I wish them to ne  best of luck

IT WAS BEAUTIFUL

 I saw it again. 

a beautiful, wonderful smile

a smile that for a moment forgot her problems.

bad thought and pain got momentarily casted away

it was beautiful. 

for a moment, me too 

forget everything but that smile.

Had a weird dream

 last night, 

I mean just now before I wake up 

was dreaming something about a friend of mine and her colleague 

and in that  dream, I was very jealous  whenever she go near him.

that's weird...

shouldn't I be okay with them fooling around?

why did I feel that?

did I really got the feeling again..?

or it was just another dreams?

Its been a while

 never thought it will be this long. 

hello people. 

lets talk about something. how about I talk about myself after a long long time not sharing anything

health

should this be the #1 things to talk about? 

Yes. I'm okay. but not as healthy as before. 

Stress and workload do take you down 

what else..?

Finance...? 

er... I would like to lend some from you,, hahaha

workload ...

a lot of it

can't count, don't know for how long will i endure all of this

relationship..?

none. hoping for 1? maybe...

but in the mean time, doing all I can for my family

there you go

still, more to come. 

bye

Start writing again ?

 Oh hello

Why?

Why?
Man always wanted to know why.
curiosity could kill a cat they said.
can curiosity broke a man....?

Some says so they can be free ...
lift up the burden of not knowing..
People say every act always be a reason
and man are searching for that reason

it hurts when a knife stabbed into man's flesh
but it hurts more when man is left without knowing.

Men.... Man up..

I didn't surprise myself.

Being able to peek the future, I never got too surprised. Though I see it coming, I still bring the ring. Then it comes, just like what I had see coming, as what have been told in my dreams. But I couldn't  evad, I couldn't change it.

Tears coming down, its not just because you're leaving, but partly because there's nothing I can do to avoid it. Then I almost died when I walked away from you. The memories play like a movie, those conversations linger in my ears.

The ring that I bring, I had it locked away. so it can be a  reminder for those time when I should do something but I postponed it. For those time where I should be brave and strong. But it was too late to do anything. 

I may peek the future, still,  I couldn't give it to you. So farewell ring, I will throw you to the deepest sea in the darkest black.

Boring Short Story

Later that evening, my hand shakes a lot. its not hunger, it's because there's hollow in my heart. Empiness like never before. Hollow, that believing could never cure, hollow that time will never heal and hollow that makes love will never be the same again.

For now, I've lost my faith.

Help me God, for who I am. I was so brittle and still I am. I've strayed  so far that I couldn't get home. I was searching for something, to fill the hollow insides of me.

It started with my heart, it was silence and nothing, then my mind. It was so painful and dark where I couldn't feel or think anymore. A living corpse, straying on the earth for nothing.

I hope time do heal, I hope flowers will bring smiles, I hope God will make me see what should I see, my lips will say I believe though my heart couldn't say a word.

I hope ... my hope.... has fades away with the wind with the rain.

God forgive me