Managed to make it awkward

I've said something awkward
Doesn't mean anything
 Just some kind of gratitude.

However,
Reading it again... its awkward
Sorry for making it like that.

Thank you for being a good friend.

Could it be now?

 Hello, 
how are you?

This is another dilemma that I should face

Do I need to start the sparks?
should I ?
Could I?

Deep in my heart, 
I would glad to,

But my logic scream no. 

Help me God to pick the best for me

Peace?

 Peace? 
maybe for me.. 

but as I am writing right now,
someone else life is crumbling down

Hey there, 
be strong!

Letting go is not losing
Letting go can somehow save you 
from pain, 
pain 
and pain

yeah,  I know 

Letting go means going back to your old life, 
Yes, it may be awkward, but it is good. 
we may speak like usual again,
laugh, 
cry 
and wait for the sunrise
while sacrificing our favorite things
our sleep.

It better like that. 
Nowadays. you keep avoiding her.
She try her best to talk to you as usual, 
But she can't 
Then, she kept her sadness deep inside her
Finding happiness in others, 
but deep inside,
she hope that both of you will still be just like before 

It happened again

 It happened again,
but this time , I watched by the sideline
I see the old me, and saw her too.
I smiled. reminiscing the old day 
Its not funny, I know how does it cut both side
but hold on, time will pass.
Its your decision that matters.
Hold it longer, and the pain will linger
Set free, find another reasons and another goal.
Be strong and make peace, accept the peace.
I wish them to ne  best of luck

IT WAS BEAUTIFUL

 I saw it again. 

a beautiful, wonderful smile

a smile that for a moment forgot her problems.

bad thought and pain got momentarily casted away

it was beautiful. 

for a moment, me too 

forget everything but that smile.

Had a weird dream

 last night, 

I mean just now before I wake up 

was dreaming something about a friend of mine and her colleague 

and in that  dream, I was very jealous  whenever she go near him.

that's weird...

shouldn't I be okay with them fooling around?

why did I feel that?

did I really got the feeling again..?

or it was just another dreams?

Its been a while

 never thought it will be this long. 

hello people. 

lets talk about something. how about I talk about myself after a long long time not sharing anything

health

should this be the #1 things to talk about? 

Yes. I'm okay. but not as healthy as before. 

Stress and workload do take you down 

what else..?

Finance...? 

er... I would like to lend some from you,, hahaha

workload ...

a lot of it

can't count, don't know for how long will i endure all of this

relationship..?

none. hoping for 1? maybe...

but in the mean time, doing all I can for my family

there you go

still, more to come. 

bye

Start writing again ?

 Oh hello

Why?

Why?
Man always wanted to know why.
curiosity could kill a cat they said.
can curiosity broke a man....?

Some says so they can be free ...
lift up the burden of not knowing..
People say every act always be a reason
and man are searching for that reason

it hurts when a knife stabbed into man's flesh
but it hurts more when man is left without knowing.

Men.... Man up..

I didn't surprise myself.

Being able to peek the future, I never got too surprised. Though I see it coming, I still bring the ring. Then it comes, just like what I had see coming, as what have been told in my dreams. But I couldn't  evad, I couldn't change it.

Tears coming down, its not just because you're leaving, but partly because there's nothing I can do to avoid it. Then I almost died when I walked away from you. The memories play like a movie, those conversations linger in my ears.

The ring that I bring, I had it locked away. so it can be a  reminder for those time when I should do something but I postponed it. For those time where I should be brave and strong. But it was too late to do anything. 

I may peek the future, still,  I couldn't give it to you. So farewell ring, I will throw you to the deepest sea in the darkest black.

Boring Short Story

Later that evening, my hand shakes a lot. its not hunger, it's because there's hollow in my heart. Empiness like never before. Hollow, that believing could never cure, hollow that time will never heal and hollow that makes love will never be the same again.

For now, I've lost my faith.

Help me God, for who I am. I was so brittle and still I am. I've strayed  so far that I couldn't get home. I was searching for something, to fill the hollow insides of me.

It started with my heart, it was silence and nothing, then my mind. It was so painful and dark where I couldn't feel or think anymore. A living corpse, straying on the earth for nothing.

I hope time do heal, I hope flowers will bring smiles, I hope God will make me see what should I see, my lips will say I believe though my heart couldn't say a word.

I hope ... my hope.... has fades away with the wind with the rain.

God forgive me

Random thoughts

Never thought I'll reach this point
What past have told me let it be
I just hope the best for you
and I hope I'm not a stranger in your life

To see and to know you happy 
Is always my priority since the beginning
But I have lost my path
I'm way too lost
and I didn't see the light

Maybe thats the reason for everything
So lets have a new beginning
Lets walk in our own path
Knowing you are happy will make me feel the same
Knowing not a thing will make me suffer more
But worry not about me 
For I've already lost my path
From the beginning

I'm fine
Don't worry
I'm strong, I can deal with it
You are forgiven and you have my blessing.

Go,
High up the sky,
Go,
you are free dove in the sky
Soar like an eagle strong and bold.

I, the man at the corner
I know the place like the owner
I the man you know for years
Know you better like a brother

We sails a different ocean
We sails a different path
Just as the ocean
Our friendshid never part.

Im gonna move one step at a time

Don't worry

It just time I need

Some time

so I can walk slowly

so I can move backward a little bit 

And walked out of your life

Be free

Be strong

I know you are not that weak

Get what you want 

I'll be there when you need anything. 

Just tell me

I'll lend a hand

Friendship never end 

and you are still my bestfriend :)

Sometimes it hurts

Living in this world so cruel.
It hurts
Deep inside
Try to shout
Can't even throw a voice

Hope may fade
Darkness would consume you
Memories will pass
But not my love to you

Love will bring everything
Slowly.
It may hurt you first
Yet it will last there forever

Joy it bring,
Blessings it offered
Life it bring
Death bring us appart

Oh Lord, teach me to love ..

Living in the world so cruel

Morning people.
Did you sleep well last night?

Why you didn't sleep well ?

Well the world is full of idiots.
Selfish and greedy

Yet the world is covered with brilliant person.
But still, they are Selfish and greedy.

The poor have nothing but nothing...

The average have a little bit. But they went selfish.

And the rich went not just selfish, but very greedy.

Hey people ... Wake up...
Be brave, be a caring person, be kind
And you will be inspiration for other's and the world will be a better place once more.

Cheat Lever

Its been a while.

Say, did the world give a fair play?
Maybe not, but here we are living our life.

Fool people always have the courage, wise man have nothing. Bad people are rich, kind people are average, good people begged.

Beautiful lady smile, an old man laugh hard, a miner face pour out sweats, a rich widow sulk.

Little boy eat cheese, little girl eat potatoes. An old man eat cabbage, one old grandma eat nothing

A soldier throw life, a patriot throw the money.

How to make a yearly magazine

First of all, I am no good at what am I doing because I never had the chance to do it

but its okay because I've seen how it was made and published through the right way and the opposite of it

So here I am to tell what do I "think" about the yearly magazine

And of course they are many people better than me for sure and have written it anywhere somewhere in the internet

This is an example of a simple magazine

First step :
Building the editor members or a team 

Leader
Choosing a leader would be appropriate,
and a vise leader would be necessary in some cases
a wise leader should be able to divide the assignments to the members
and be the last persons who go through the magazine and make any adjustment

Editors
Editors should be someone with a good grammar and plenty of vocab
a few editors may be needed if the condition requires

Designer(s)
A beautiful magazine amaze readers and doesn't make a book look hideous
a person or two need to design the magazine and make a few templates
templates really help reducing work time
A good designer should able to arrange anything written or any graphics provided

Writers
The more the better.
many writers will help reducing individual tasks
it can be a reporting writer or a creative writer
some reporting writers may ask for the report from some organizer's secretary
and make the report interesting
and the creative writers may ask for anyone to write something good and worth reading articles or anything
These writers should be good in writing and less in spelling and grammatical error
Some event or section in the book may need its own  writers

Collectors
These collectors collect things (writing or any handwork from the communities)
Drawing, comic strips, poems, funny things should be collected
or as long as it is interesting
these collector guys are actually important

Photographer
Yeah it is so dull with yearly magazine without any pictures

Secretary 
So you can do your magazine with some help in any form from the school/community/organization
money matters for printing and yeah you can shout for help from anyone actually

Treasurer
Make sure he or she don't run away with the money
and make sure he/she can make money


Step 2 : Planning 
Plan what should you have in the magazine

Do discuss what do you need to have in your magazine with the peoples important
-a organization/community/school leaders or the right authorities

Do the tasks distribution

Go make a yearly magazine

Step 3 : Do your work

Do as what you've assign throughout the year
make sure to update the magazine after any event or anything

Step 4 : Editing

After a year or before the production date, edit your magazine 

Make it the best magazine ever and something so important 

or something that can make the magazine better may come at the eleven hour 

so prepare for that

ask for conformation and go print it 

Done

But wait

There are a few taboo in making a yearly magazine 

If the magazine is meant to be for 2014,

NEVER EVER start making it at the third quarter of the year

ALWAYS start a team for the next magazine before the year it should

as example for a 2015 magazine you should have already make the team this year which is 2014

And if you are smoking and thinking about making a magazine,

NEVER think about making the year before's magazine.

When you are in 2014, never think about 2013 because it will be hard

The simplest chart to show how it happen

editor receive, edit and send it to designer and together they do the designing if the editor what it in their own way

writers may get pictures from the photographer and do the writings

collector collects what is needed and what is available

photographer give pictures to writer or designer and sometimes they do the design together

and chief editor will finalize things and leader sometimes the overwrite his finalization

anyway doing a yearly magazine should be ongoing throughout the year 

so that at the end of the year it just some little editing required 

and you'll get one by the end of the year or by the early of the year after

The end

Its not the proper guideline

do read and research more  :)

The End for my education

This end is not the really end to my life.. 

There's lots happen but yet more to come

Words will take days to end... let me just speak through these pictures

Yeah the journey of my education and serving had ended there... 

but I can continue both my serving and education at the new place 

But, you know,

It will never be the same

with faces hard to forget,

warmness where only them can give

love and kindness they've gave

I've holding back my feeling back then 

With no tear drops

But now the heart started to 

bleed and cry 

I'm missing all of them

and I'm missing you all the time  :)

Octobre nes laisse pas

I hoped that this year wouldn't end
I hoped that there's more months after December
I really hope, truly hope, that there's more than 31 days in a month,
Nor 40, not 50, but 100 maybe.

I really hope that this good times wouldn't end
That my eyes will always filled with some image I wanted the most
That this words will always speak those good language,
and this hand will always hold what it suppose to hold to eternity

I hope I have more time to meet and talk,
to laugh and to have some times of silent
to gather and pray a lot,
to kindly talk, to warmly smile and everything else.

September have long gone,
November will come,
October don't leave...

Octobre ne laissez pas s'il vous plait